It's a beautiful Easter Monday day and here,
are some of the the good things, all mixed up, that make my friends HAPPY,

drinking with the right people, dreams,
feeling like no-one can see you, stories about Alan Bennet's mother, my favourite wine at half price, sleep, 'anchorman' and the quoting of, big dogs that are happy that make you want to be another big dog so you can run around with them, big expansive 3D games, scratching my sandy scalp after a day at the beach, writing letters on pretty notepaper, people doing completely average but giving it absolutely everything to get there, rainstorms (from inside), my ill face, limericks and puns, reading about silence, surprising people,
camping, talking about someone famous and then half way through the conversation realising you're actually taking about someone entirely different (Lionel Blair for Lionel Richie), the moment before you go to sleep, the four notes that T__ plays on the guitar, seeing people on the train reading books that you've read, smiling at someone you love and knowing they think as you do, sitting and listening to my housemates' conversations and having to hold my cheeks because they hurt so much from laughing, walking outside in the cold when no-one else is around and seeing people inside in pubs etc with orange lights, holding hands with my friends when I'm having intense (and usually drunken) conversations with them, caring, biting off nail varnish from your fingertips all in one go, seeing small birds feeding on the bird feeder in the garden,
forward rolls, globes, sprouting veggie seeds - naming them and talking to them, small scruffy dogs, people that answer stupid questions with aggressive reangling and counterattack, the squidgy cheesy pasta rotating inside my mouth, putting things down correctly in the right place, my cat's purring vibrating through my lap, the reassuring smell of my family's cooking, rolling around on the carpet in a haze, sunlight shapes on carpet, wearing so many layers you are only half in the world, the look in people's eyes when i realise i am being enthusiastic and maybe they're a little charmed and they maybe seem awkward and it all seems a bit silly but i'm too vain not to enjoy it, the feeling after you wake up knowing it's the summer holidays,
black biro pens, when the air is full of blossom petals and the wind swirls it round you like confetti then hours later you’ll run a hand through your hair and find a small soft and fleshy pink petal, almost anything by bach, swifts, tiny drawers, my four-year-old niece singing lady gaga songs despite hating her, dusky leaf monkeys (the adults are black, but they give birth to bright ginger babies so they don't lose them), the shared knowledge that you both like each other without it ever being said,
things that are deemed 'auspicious', all my friend's haircuts, the idea of a carnival, sex, girls' backs, smiles that make a person look totally different,
goats cheese and red onion relish with a dark trappiste beer, driving vans, the rare discovery of a soul-changing book, the smell of lavender as I sleep, people thinking i'm younger than i am,
autumn walks on crisp leaves with woodsmoke in the air, finding a new author or series of books tht sorts out your reading material for the next few weeks/months, eating egg and chips when I came home from school as a schoolgirl, cuddling my children whenever they let me (and memories of them smelling of talc after their baths), berating myself, hooking things up, wishes, blotty pens, singing with my children in over the top voices to songs we know and love,
head massages, going out dancing, lying on the carpet on my own and singing along to Yankee hotel foxtrot in its entirety, laughing so much that you start crying,
vintage clothing (vintage anything!), vintage pinup girls,
the first slurp of a good cold pint, having a snooze by the sea,
making food for other people, polka dots, spanish film, long hair, writing down my favourite lyrics from the songs I like, watching a film and really enjoying it (and feeling pleased to add it to your list of films you love), apple pie, when people sing replies, all spontaneous singing!, five pound notes, days full of sunshine, sleepovers, Lord of the Rings risk, driving with the windows down on a summer's evening, lemon drizzle cake, big dogs that are like big bears/seals, offbeat fashion, rainbows, other people’s inspiring photographs, breasts, fruit and herbal teas, when I really want ice and I realize I have it in my freezer, eye contact with changes, warm breezes, hands, when you start to sprint and are surprised by how fast&light it feels, feeling content in bed, the sound of wedding bells – ideally emanating from a town whilst sitting in a field, the kick-down in our automatic car, laughing till it hurts, an awesome film, the flakiness of white fish,
little crushes, sunsets,
comic voices, ritual and procedure and playing waltzing matilda or saying "lemon and lime" like its a new invention, mumbling,
50s American diners, the smell of frankincense, planning adventures and travelling trips, the Isle of Skye, old people, fancy dress - just because, pictures of sweaty people playing music, cheese boards, my other half (and our made-up words), lighting a fire from one corner and watching the flames spread (you must lie on the floor to do this),
when I waved goodbye to my dad on the Wednesday and him blowing me a kiss and smiling, peoples bodies and how they work without me knowing how, drinking tea when it is at the perfect 'peak' temperature, having a shower when you've just done some really intense drumming and you're still sweating, when you hug someone in winter and their cheek is cold and presses against your cheek, vocal harmonies, slow barbershop quartet singing, the club singer section of 'shooting stars', baths, st peters basilicca - vatican city - the most beautiful construction i have ever seen,
the planets and space in general,
insect noise, the glug glug of the first glass of wine poured from a new bottle, getting the right balance of paint and water on the tip of a brush so that when you stroke it leaves a perfect solid line, curling up inside in patch of late afternoon sunshine, blurry eyed lights, immobilised with laughter, stepping into the warm out of the cool, dancing to the songs of my adolescence, shaking hands,
a cup of tea after a meal, feeling full-up from spending a long time laughing, long necklaces that bang against my belt, that feeling when you wake up from a nightmare and realising that whatever happened in your dream didn't happen, stretching out in bed and wriggling your toes against the duvet, being invited to things, a night in with my bitches (best friends), fizzy pink wine, that friday afternoon feeling, listening to rain in bed early in the morning, the top part of the muffin, the way C__ B__ would always say "don't worry" and always be correct,
when people give me compliments for things i dont care about (i hate it when people talk about things about me i DO care about but say ‘you look smart/smell nice’),
re-remembering things you forgot, being able to help someone out when they ask you for assistance, rolling around fields drunk on cider and chatting utter nonsense, skating (especially at night), innuendo as often as possible, shadows, mixtapes and making mixtapes, the sound highheels make, putting cold feet against a hot radiator and having to hover them close because it's too hot to touch,
being on my own abroad, eating leftovers for breakfast, the sound of people typing away, houses painted bright colours (located by the seaside), houses painted pastel colours (in sleepy English villages), finding a perfect dress, listening to something I’ve recorded when it starts to take shape (usually its nothing like I imagined),
the warm glow that comes from doing a good deed, the video for 'jizz in my pants', people with good hearts and kind souls, the lake at Platt Fields park, fancy hotel rooms,
getting the tree ready at Christmas, soaking in a perfumed bubble bath reading a good book, a dish cooked for the first time that turns out perfectly, tracing curves with my finger, elspeth lomax quotes (from 3 men and a little lady), hot baths, being touched, the eggs benedict & black pudding I had at Joe Allens once, human pyramids, the sky, the land, big land, people collectively (for better or worse), connections, the feeling of nervous anticipation before you are reunited with someone you haven't seen in a long time, old fashioned sweetshops, candyfloss,
sharing a smile with a stranger (especially an attractive guy), spinning round and round with my friends, the outside of tic-tacs, finding that three years after they were put in, the 'new' light switches in your Mum and Dad's house are all still covered with protective, transparent plastic coverings and then going round and excitedly pulling them all off (SATISFACTION!!!), short weeks at work, the feeling of a new place (and remembering how that felt when it is familiar), having money in my account at the end of the month - before pay day, random and surprising acts of humanity on the underground!, compliments on my clothes, closing a book after the last page and looking up, skirts that swoosh around, when you're lying in bed at night and you're very tired and you can feel yourself falling asleep - sort of - but it's taking ages and you're really comfortable and you don't have anything to do in the morning so you can completely get in the zone of sleeping,
disaster designs bags, slippers, playing a song from my youth as it brings back memories of years gone by, leaving, dinner parties with great food and plenty of laughter and good wine, Guinness, drawing on hands, people in love, pinky skies,
the cocktails at socio rehab, winning pub quizzes, the feeling of a hard, cold rain shower on your face and coat as you walk under grey stormy clouds, stargazing/cloud watching, david attenborough, bargainous buys, brand new notebooks,
walking in fields in the summer and stopping for a picnic beer,
singing with a hairbrush microphone, icecream on a proper sunny day where it melts almost quicker than you can lick it, dandelion&burdock, junk shops, fancy dress costumes - as long as I've had adequate time to prepare, swimming in the sea and big waves, how quickly my mood can change when I hear a song I like, running through the fallen autumn leaves, painted nails, the sound of jewellery that jangles and jingles, the feeling of a journey home, one-on-one connections, cold hands brushing against warm hands, dlisted and the incomparable michael k, non soft-scoop ice-cream when its starting to melt, when you both just can’t stop laughing but you’re not even sure what’s making you laugh so much, putting clean sheets and duvet coves on beds - the smell of their cleaness and knowing that they're lovely and fresh for your children when they visit, listening to music on a spotify playlist and thinking 'i love this track' mainly because you have put the playlist together,
smoky eyes, ginger hair!, having a really good laugh with someone,
the wellcome library gallery annexe,
2-state engine fumes, doing crossword Alpha puzzles first thing in the morning,
buying a new book, the fact that there are far more than 31 things that make me happy, talking all night and not going to sleep, inky pens, the idea of dancing in a sparkling outfit and not being ridiculous, boys’ handwriting, maybe I will ride a camel in my dreams and fly like a bird (but not in a plane), the idea of chasing butterflies in a big dome, finding a sentence that perfectly describes something I could never put into words, getting lost/stuck/in trouble while traveling and sorting the mess out myself, the word ‘glockenspiel’, peoples thoughts,
babies faces (sometimes), the sick-sadness of a discoball spinning spots of light in an empty room, spending a whole day not talking so it feels as though my mouth is sealed shut, anytime I can leave a trail of footprints behind me (walking out of puddles, along the shoreline, in fresh snow), overuse of adjectives, milk, silent-screaming at myself in the mirrors of foreign bathrooms,
gin,
talking to elderly people who volunteer in historic establishments because they make it sound hugely pleasing to be old,
snuggling up in bed with a hot cup of Earl Grey, fake nostalgia for the early 70s, burrowing my fingers and hands into tubs of seeds or pots of beads, when actors i used to hate are in films i really love and completely alter my opinion of them, sunny days, my mum reading Dylan Thomas aloud, P__'s eyelashes when he sleeps,
that tarmac smell just after it rains on a really hot day, stroking the soft fur of a dog or cat as they rub against my calves, the smell of woodsmoke, dancing, sitting on a couch and watching documentaries about periods of history as my imagination takes me there,old mirrors, the way you can be away from a friend for ages and start talking as though you just stopped,
steps that have been worn away by countless feet, swimming in waves (sea and artificial), wiping dust from electrical equipment, the feeling I get from my job, watching 'in the loop' two or three times in a row,
dinosaurs, stretching, insignificance of wandering round busy cities, every Patrick O’Brien novel, the way J__ crosses his arms before telling a really good pun aloud, standing at the end of old wooden jettys, drinking ice-cold milk from a thick, solid glass.